A Life of Euphoria

A Life of Euphoria

by Tina Barnes

Do you know that feeling when you wake up and, for a split second, all is right with the world?  You are euphoric… you stretch, relax your body, bury your head deeper into your pillow, pull the blankets up around your face, smile and let out a sigh.  Hmmm, it feels great!

Then, like an obnoxious alarm clock, the dam bursts open and out gush all of the anxieties and worries of the world that lives on your shoulders.  The moment of bliss is gone, replaced with a thousand simultaneous “musts”:  must pay that bill, must meet that deadline at work, must finish that school science project, must do laundry, must buy stamps at the post office, must figure out what’s for dinner tonight, must, must, must!  

And so, another day begins.  You rush to make breakfast and get your kids to school looking half awake.  You run the gauntlet on the road, avoiding near misses all the way to work.  By the time to get to work, your knuckles are white, and your blood pressure is through the roof.  You spend 8, 9, 10 hours at work, stressing over deadlines, fixing problems, dealing with irate customers, all on behalf of your corporate employer who reaps the profits, while you go home with a paycheck that’s spent before it touches your fingertips.  You narrowly escape death sixteen separate times on the drive home, whilst your thoughts bounce back and forth between “what in the world am I going to make for dinner?” and “how in the heck did these people EVER get a driver’s license?”.  You make it through dinner (“Pork chops AGAIN, Mom?”), help with homework and the science project and, if you’re lucky, have  enough time left to just enjoy your kids, before it’s bath and bed time.  The kids tucked up in bed, you go downstairs and get back to all the work emails and text messages you didn’t get a chance to respond to earlier, clean up the dinner dishes, feed the dogs, straighten up the living area, get the backpacks ready for tomorrow, and collapse in an exhausted heap on the couch, where you are woken 5.5 hours later by a stream of dribble running from the corner of your mouth.  You slurp it up, drag yourself to bed (vowing to shower in the morning), and go back to sleep for 5 minutes before the alarm goes off.

And then you do it again the next day… and the next… and the next.

I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to believe that this is the life we are supposed to live.  I’m not saying we have miserable, discontent lives.  Most of us thoroughly enjoy time with our kids, doing something we love, going to our favorite places, or reading our favorite books.  However, step back and look at the bigger picture.  Overall, the majority of us are living day to day like robots, doing all the things that mainstream society says we SHOULD be doing, and spending a very small portion of our lives actually LIVING - doing what we love, what moves us, what fulfills us, what makes us euphoric.

Here’s a thought.  What if that moment of euphoria we feel upon waking is how we are supposed to live?  What if we unknowingly snuff the joy out every morning, smothering it with the “musts” and “need to"s.  We spend a split second per day in perfect, complete, all-encompassing JOY and 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds doing what society says we are “supposed to”.  Instead of snuffing out that momentary flicker of joy, wouldn’t it be better to fan that small flame into a roaring, glorious fire that fills our senses, our minds and our souls with unabridged joy and happiness?  

Step back and look at your bigger picture.  Is this the life you want?  Is this the life you expected, when you were young and innocent and full of expectant wonder?  Are you satisfied that you are following your dreams, and your deathbed thoughts will not be filled with “what ifs” and “if onlys”?  Is this the life you want to teach your kids to expect and be happy with?  Are you okay with “settling” with existence in this daily rut?

The more time that passes, the more I realize that, although I have all the things I need to make it through life – a house, a vehicle, food, an income – my life is not euphoric.  Yes, I enjoy my children, I enjoy my family, my friends, my hobbies, my vacations, but overall there are a lot less euphoric moments than I would like there to be.  I don’t have the answer (I hope you weren’t expecting one), but I know that becoming conscious of our limited time on this earth, becoming aware that every moment counts, and that the cliché is true – you only live once - can be the first steps on a path to making changes TOWARDS a life of euphoria.  I am learning (finally, at 40) that I would rather live with less “stuff” and more “moments”, less housework and more exploring.  I would rather work less hours, and earn less money, in exchange for more time with my kids and doing things that awaken my soul.

Our lives won’t change overnight, but we can start taking baby steps towards a place where the moments of sheer joy will eventually outnumber the moments of monotony.  I can’t wait.  Because I don’t believe this is all there is. I believe we were made to live a life of euphoria.  

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Living life, alive.

How many of us are truly happy with how we spend our time?  We are given 24 hours in a day.  The majority of adults spend 8 of those hours asleep, and 8 of them at work. The eight hours we have left is our time to LIVE.  Think about that for a minute.  Only ONE THIRD of our day is truly ours, and yet we spend it cleaning, cooking, shopping, watching TV, Facebooking, daydreaming...

What would happen if we asserted ourselves and dared to live purposefully?  If we made a concerted effort to make every moment count (or as many moments as possible)?  What if we consciously decided to do things we love, at least once daily?  My life, for one, would look very different. 

* Less time online, and more time outdoors. 
* Less time worrying, and more time focusing.
* Less time looking at the TV and more time looking at my kids faces. 
* Less time scrolling Facebook, and more time talking to people.
* Less time doing the things I "should" be doing, and more time doing what I love to do.
* Less time daydreaming of places to visit, and more time making it happen.
* Less time wishing my thighs were thinner, more time running.

It doesn't have to be a major life event, or upheaval.  One of my light bulb moments came about a few weeks ago when I had the house to myself for a few hours during the day.  My mum was at work and both kids were at school.  I had a list of errands as long as my hand, and the housework needed doing.  I sat down and purposefully asked myself "If I were to be completely selfish today and do something that would make me happy from the inside out, what would it be?"  The answer wasn't drastic, or imaginative.  It was "nothing".  If I were to put aside the "should"s, and "ought to"s, what I would really LOVE to do, was nothing.  So, that's what I did.  I put my pajamas back on, I made some tea, and I vegged out on the couch with my favorite blanket and my favorite movie for 2 hours.  It was amazing.  I felt relaxed, content, happy, fulfilled, and self indulgent, and I loved every second of it.  It also made me a lot more fun when the kids came home.

What if we could have those feelings every day?  Realistically, none of us can live our every waking hour that way, but we CAN steal a few moments here and there each day. 

Save the vacuuming for tomorrow, and use that ten minutes to plant some flowers.  Skip the solo grocery shopping and go later in the evening, with your significant other, and afterwards eat ice cream in the parking lot together.  Let your kids clean their rooms tomorrow, and instead go outside and lay on a blanket with them, watching the sun set.  Instead of procrastinating over the housework, put on your favorite CD, blast it and get the housework done in record time, then take 15 minutes to sit on the deck, with the sun on your face, daydreaming.  Instead of cooking a dinner that takes an hour to prepare, make sandwiches and have a picnic somewhere beautiful (no clean up).  Take a vacation day off work and go somewhere you keep saying you're going to visit "one day".

Stop and look at rainbows, bask in each sunrise, play in the rain, and make snow angels in the snow.  Make a list of all the things you love and write them in lipstick on the bathroom mirror!  Enjoy it all and know that you are living purposefully.  That you are enjoying living life, alive! 

Melancholy memories

Hostal Katia, Paguera

Tonight, I was flicking through the channels on the TV and stopped on House Hunters International (my default show when there is nothing on).  They were helping a couple find a new home in Palma, Mallorca.  The views of Palma Cathedral and the harbour brought back so many memories; memories that I rarely sit back and indulge in.

When I was 9, and living in Holyhead, we went on our first holiday outside of Wales.  We got up at 4am to go to the airport, to fly to Majorca - only a few hours away, but to an excited 9 year old, we were headed to the most exotic place in the whole world!  I remember the smell of the airport, and the plane, the stewardesses being so welcoming as we boarded; I remember being fascinated with the super thick windows and the little shutters on them; the lurch of my stomach when the plane took off, and the exhilaration of looking outside and seeing that we were really flying!!  Oh, that breathtaking moment flying over France and into Spanish airspace and seeing the Great Pyrenees from the sky; telling Mum to look at them, and her feeling so sick and scared, she didn't want to.

The taxi ride from Palma airport, to our hotel in Paguera was downright scary, I thought the driver was insane, but it turns out that most people on the island drive the same way!  Thankfully, for the rest of the holiday, we walked everywhere, with the exception of a couple of bus rides.  I can still close my eyes, breathe in, and smell the lobby of the hotel.  The tiled floors, paired with the summer heat, added to the variety of scents from outside - the sugar refinery up the road, the ocean, the spanish food - made the most wonderful aroma!

We spent our days mostly at the beach - swimming, playing frisbee on the sand, exploring the rocks, walking up and down the beach, renting a pedalo and pedaling out around the rocks (where the water was as deep as could be, but you could still see the bottom).  There was a restaurant on the beach, right behind us, so we would eat there, never having to leave the beach.  I remember the smell of Amber Solaire tanning oil (my dad), the fruit sellers walking up and down the beach, shouting "Melon, melon, pineapple!!"  The melon man had one regular arm and one arm only to the elbow joint, but he could still flip that melon in the air and cut it into pieces for you.  For some reason, we found his wailing hilarious and still joke about the melon man.

Later in the day, we would go back to the hotel and take turns showering and rubbing aloe vera on each other to cool the sunburn.  While Mum and my sister got ready, I would sit and peel the burned skin off my dad's back (gross).  Our late afternoons were spent wandering the streets of Paguera, finding new restaurants, sitting outside in the warmth while we ate, playing mini golf, and looking in gift shops.  I still have things I bought there during those explorations - a necklace of love beads, a clay donkey, a wooden ring, and a little plate with "Majorca" on it.  Funny the little trinkets you hold onto.  I remember the first nights ever spent in Majorca - with the balcony doors open, the heat so unbearable that we couldn't sleep, listening to the mopeds riding up and down the main street, the voices shouting in Spanish and English, people having fun, and the smells wafting up from the street below. I never wanted it to end.

I had my first major crush in Majorca.  I think the third or fourth year we went.  I was 13 maybe.  His name was Pepe, he was a bartender at the hotel, and he served me my chocolat caliente with a beautiful Spanish accent and a smile.  I learned to say "swimming" in Spanish so that I could invite him swimming with us, where he would fall in love with me and be mine forever, speaking to me ever after with that romantic accent. Of course it never happened, but even the memories of those childish dreams make me smile still, and I can still picture Pepe behind the bar.

All these memories are so good, and so cherished.  Time has passed, things have changed - a lot - but no matter what, those memories will always be good, those times will always be some of the best days of my life.   <3